south korea and its provinces

Being the perfectionist that I am, I cannot abide by writing inaccurate, or should I say unconventional, addresses on Amazon and other such sites. It simply bugs the hell out of me (a whole new meaning to it *gasp*).

So this OCD of mine has finally built up enough to deluge and wipeout whatever inner peace I had artificially constructed upon myself, and I am now left with the utter havoc left in the wake of Noah’s flood.

If it’s too long and you didn’t read it (or tl;dr), I say it’s time for some little research into knowing what to write in which section of your typical address sign-up page.

South Koreaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa here we coooooooooooooooommeee.

Let’s start out big. Korea, or the Korean Peninsula, is split into two distinct countries: North Korea and South Korea. Of the two, South Korea is the richer one. In South Korea, we have EIGHT huge ass provinces, except for Jeju Island because it’s in the South and everything in the South wants to secede.

Since Korea is one helluva special place with all its kimchi and whatnot, it’s got a little thing going on with adding special suffixes. A province ends with “do” (e.g. Gyeonggi-do = the province of Gyeonggi) and is itself split into cities (“si”) and the even smaller counties (“gun”).

But don’t start thinking that Seoul is part of Gyeonggi-do just because Gyeonggi is a province. Nuh-uh. “Do” is one of the primary divisions of South Korea; the other two are teukbyeolsi (특별시) and gwangyeoksi (광역시). Teukbyeolsi and gwangyeoksi are just cities treated on the same level as provinces: “teukbyeol” means “special” and “si” means “city”. They’re also known as metropolitan cities (Seoul being the exception). Looking at the illustration up there, you can see that there are EIGHT self-governed cities with provincial status.

Application.

Seoul would be treated as a province because it’s the one and only “special city” or “teukbyeolsi” (romanization is “Seoul Teukbyeolsi”). Busan, the largest port city and second largest metropolis (after Seoul) in Korea, is officially called “Busan Metropolitan City” and you should know by now that it’s a gwangyeoksi.

Re-application.

So it's not wrong to have both the City and State/Province/Region sections be the exact same.

Starting to make sense?

Again.

If you still don’t get it, whichever one applies for you.

I don't think I've ever visited Jeollanam-do.

And here I chose a random-ass city.

Note that I put the “si” and “do” to help denote that the former—Suncheon—is in fact a damn city. But in all seriousness, do write it down. It’ll at least get rid of the potential frustration/confusion that might arise within those faceless peeps who are working for the betterment of humanity.

And to top it off. Bromance? We’ll never know.

vacations and harpoons

A vacation is not really a vacation for me: It’s a time of solitude.

You can’t really go out and play in the claustrophobic, 21st century industrial landscape of Seoul. The moment you walk outside, every sort of noise blasts itself onto your unprepared ears. (That’s why, young lads, you need something called protection! Ow ow. Okay, I’m sorry.) That includes honks, rumbles, vrooms, screeks, the occasional chirps, and the not-too-rare cricks.

There are, however, fragments of mother nature strewn about Seoul. If it weren’t for those occasional trees that flank the sidewalks, the suffocating air would be even harder to tolerate. But, like all things, you get used to it. I don’t know how long my lungs will last though.

Moving on.

Let’s (“let’s” = “let us” astonished me) talk about something more lighthearted. Have you heard of harpoons? Neither have I. Crash course. Commence.

The

harpoons

man

them.

Still haven't manned them yet?

Well, this is what you get.

I love internet memes. And Wikipedia for defining it below.

“The term Internet meme (pronounced /ˈmiːm/, rhyming with “cream”) is used to describe a concept that spreads swiftly via the Internet. The term is a reference to the concept of memes, although this concept refers to a much broader category of cultural information.”

And to top it off, pbfcomics.com. Oh, how I cannot live without thy humour (*smack*). Get a room Romeo. And stop being such a wuss.

Let's see. Smart, check. Funny, check. Butt-ugly, check.

awesome, sick, sounds

Guess I’m sick.

Sick? Oh my gosh. Man, how’s the temperature?

It’s all cool. I could do a few glasses of cool water though.

Alright, dude. Here, drink some of this cool water I’ve brought for you.

Thanks, bro.  I wouldn’t be able to drink this cool water without you.

No problem. We cool?

Yeah, we cool.

He be so cool, even Ben wants a taste of him!

Have you wondered why, in Usher’s OMG, it’s oh my gosh instead of oh my god? To possibly not offend those believers of God?

Maybe. (If you’re such an ardent follower of whatever religion, you should’ve noticed by now how I didn’t capitalize the g in god.)

Have you also wondered why, in the illustration above, a black child is innocently walking behind Benjamin Franklin? To uphold this image of racial equality?

Maybe. (Wait, isn’t that an Asian kid in the background as well? Maybe.)

So I’m sick, and it’s break. I really think there is some universal trend, some underlying law of the cosmos, that clearly states a correlation between the proximity to vacation and the likeliness of catching a cold.

What are the odds? Ow.

Now that we’ve gone through both the awesome and sick categories, let’s talk about sounds.

Oh, yes. TRON: Legacy. That in an awesome sci-fi setting, through sick 3D glasses, and with intense Daft Punk bass? There, gentlemen, is the ultimate recipe for awesome. I can’t wait to go to the theaters and just get eye raped by all the visuals. Wow, talk about the pinnacle of theatrical adaptation. Just gives me the shivers.

Enjoy.

i’m not dead, yet

Thanks to a friend of mine who indirectly influenced me to restart this rusting, creaking blog.

I hope I don’t have to lubricate it anytime soon.

Anyways. I started this blog as a project for my English class. (Ah ha! You see how I capitalized “English”?) So, following the course of our beloved logos, you can say that I quickly lost interest after the project was graded and stowed away into my report card (dun dun dun). Also, I had written this blog for people whom I knew living overseas. Now that they’re back here in Korea, my will was further deterred.

But because the average reader doesn’t really give a crap, let’s cut to the chase, shall we?

I kinda feel bad about abandoning this blog. It took me at least a good ten minutes to decide on the number of O’s for my blog’s name (17 to be exact), and I like getting visitors from all over the world.

We all aspire to succeed in something. When I signed up for WordPress thinking how inconvenient it was to leave Blogger, I had a dream. Make it into something big. And long.

Now, my English teacher won’t be looking at this from now on (but just in case, hi Mr. Stephens!), so the content can be hopefully more “interesting” (rated Z for Zombo.com).

Don’t really have much else to say. And I’m not making promises. Because promises suck.

A good lesson for all of you out there to never get a puppy. Wait wha-.

Talking of which. I love pbfcomics.com. I think we share a similar taste in humor. I think we do.

I’ve saved a dozen or so into my funny pictures folder, which I’ll sharing with viewers like you. Thank you.

And before I go, when I implied figuratively that I wanted to make my blog big and long, I was insinuating at the length of my blog’s name.

Or not.

percentages and leakages

Categorization is finished! Yes (without, however, the help of the people, by the people, for the people)!

I was about to start this blog with an “Ever wonder why…”, but I decided not to because it felt too mundane or humdrum or banal.

English sentence patterns, anyone? Just a heads up. I’m trying to use a wider variety of sentence patterns to make my blog posts more interesting to read. So, here is yet another grammar lesson!

General statement (idea) : specific statement (example).

Both are independent clauses. Here’s an example.

• I ate a banana: It was delicious.

Yeah, to my surprise, I think the capitalization in the specific statement is necessary.

Let’s begin by talking about cellphones. With all this craze about iPhones and smart phones and intelligent phones and sentient phones and whatnot, I wonder when society as a whole will move on, just like we did when we got the first telegram. (Transatlantic chess matches have never been better.) I, myself, am part of this craze as well, but, of course, to a much lesser degree. It’s just that it’s quite fun to flick your fingers across the screen and see your music list dart up and down like an overhyped puppy or, for that matter, an adorable Scottish Fold.

And let’s continue on with massages.

Tell me about perfection. Wow. That deserves a hundred and five percent.

Talking about percentages, it’s an interesting concept, especially when they’re used for grades. Let’s say, for instance, that Mark’s English grade is currently an A-; he has a 91.5.

Ninety-one point five out of hundred, right? But what does that mean? He has a near hundred percent in English, but what does that tell about Mark? That he may be interested in learning the hidden themes of Brave New World that even Huxley, himself, had no intention in putting it in? (Woah, I said that Lenina can be a metaphor for the 21st century’s overly flirtatious woman? Awesome.)

No, I believe the use of percentage as a means to show a student’s academic performance has gone astray. We sometimes say things without having second thoughts about it. For instance, “I’m thirsty” in Korean literally translates to “My neck is dry.” (Now give meh lotion to moisturize mah dra epidermis.) Same thing with percentages.

Mark: Hey, what’d you get for that project?

Jacob: Man, I totally bombed that one; I got a B+. (FYI, this is KOREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.)

M: Seriously? My grade dropped down to a 92.4; I’m so pissed off right now.

Notice how the number of A’s in the word “KOREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” is 17, equivalent to the number of O’s in the title of my blog. But aside from that, this 92.4 has taken on an entirely new meaning. It’s the tug of war between an A- and an A, where a single harmless-looking minus could later on force colleges to reject you for that son of a gun who didn’t have that minus in his college résumé.

What we need is a list of adjectives describing our performance:

• In-fudging-credible
• Very good
• Meh (Don’t ask me if this is an adjective.)
• Poor (Yeah, I somehow happen to know about your family’s financial crisis.)
• Unacceptable

I really don’t like how the conventional list goes something along the lines of this:

• Excellent
• Very good
• Good
• Okay
• Poor

What always bugged me was that “Okay” was fourth in line. Wait wha-. From what I’ve heard since I was conceived upon this earth (kinda sucks how we have to wait here on good ol’ earth till we get our ticket to heaven or hell), okay was the middle guy. Okay was the kind of dude who was not too much of a dork but, unfortunately, didn’t manage to suck up enough of those Alpha genes from his mediocre family tree, with its most exciting event to fame probably being that single tree which Jesus couldn’t hold and took a leak on. (Fasting for a month without ever taking a leak? Or at least that’s what I heard. Heh.) Being God’s son and all, he probably would’ve foreseen the dangers of holding one’s piss for too long.

Check this out on how to professionally hold your pee pee when there’s no bathroom nearby.

Woah, I just realized that the word “phone” has a really weird spelling. P-h-o-n-e. Weird.

batter-ay and play

New post! It’s almost as if I’d gone on an ill-fated trip and come back barely alive (with just my baby toe missing).

Now, I’ve collected a lot of material for my blog, and I have to say, “When in the cornflaking world am I ever going to finish this post that should be sent to the milky depths of my leftover cereal bowl?”

Without further ado, I shall begin. But, I’ve got a request for those looking at my blog: Help me find a suitable categorization method! It’s driving me nuts. Yes, these little obnoxious aircraft nuts are kamikaze-ing themselves into my esophagus (cough cough cough HACK).

First of all, I found this cool little app called coconutBattery that allows you to see the age of your Mac and the change in the capacity of your battery. Sorry, Windows users. Oh, don’t be sad, I ensure you that I am an avid fan of Windows as well.

Moving on, I recently saw the Brighton Beach Memoirs done by the theater people at my school, and I had to admit, it was actually good. Although I was initially skeptical (hmpf, yet another boring play, I presume) of the quality of the play, and the fact that it was two hours long didn’t help my enthusiasm. My friends and teachers, however, ensured me that the play was fun and definitely worth watching. I gave in and went, and my, it was pretty entertaining.

But what made this experience more notable than others was that it was the first time I realized what the essence of a play was. Because I already knew half the actors, I thought that the play was going to be somehow less meaningful. I thought it’d be just another enactment where my friends read the lines of this nonexistent character and be this nonexistent character. Well, it wasn’t, and as I kept on watching the play, I began to see my friends as the characters whom they represented. Basically, it was the only good play I saw from a school production, or it may have been that I just wasn’t paying enough attention in all my past visits to the PAC.

Quick grammar lesson before I go. Ever wonder when to use e.g. and i.e.? Learn, my disciples.

categorization and gluteus maximus

Categorization is a pain in the gluteus maximus.

buses and the handicapped

Long time no write. This blogging being an English project and all, I thought we were done. Turns out we’re not.

So let me restart my blogging gears.

As I was sucked backed into my procrastination habits, I decided to check up on my blog whenever I got the chance, which is, pretty much, everyday (these MacBooks are evil). To my small surprise, I got a constant stream of views, which was a small happiness amidst my dark sea of despair. (The Black Sea sure sounds gloomy, doesn’t it?) Yeah, so that was my “rant” for today concerning the direct relationship between post counts and view counts.

Moving on.

I’ve recently ridden (rode ≠ correct?) on one of those super long buses which are literally two normal sized buses shoved into each other’s anuses and mouths. (Apparently, its creation was influenced by the notorious 2 girls 1 cup, and I will definitely not link it.)

in Seoul, these giant moving pieces of corrugated metal are color coded in blue

There was definitely a lot more space to sit/stand in, mostly because these huge buses in Seoul were outfitted to accommodate the handicapped, who, from my intuition, never really–let me rephrase that–never use the public transportation. I don’t even think the ratio of the little yellow stick figure dude sitting on a circle that’s supposed to represent a wheelchair to the seats available to the rest of those who aren’t permanently disabled are reasonable. Well, looking from the opposing perspective, the government could just be playing safe and not risking a potential uprising by the wheelchaired. Ha, think about that for a second. Ha. (To all those anonymous readers out there who have or are currently handicapped, please don’t be offended. I’m not that much of a scumbag who has nothing other to do than dissing the disabled.)

Moving forward. Did I tell you that before I publish my posts, I always double-check them? Yeah, good habit. Thank you.

It’s partly because there was this one incident where I failed a chem quiz because I just didn’t bother to go over my quiz after I was done. Moses, how stupid I was. For your information, failing a quiz in my chem class means getting below a B. Harsh ain’t it? So give me sympathy. They’re good. Here’s another Metric song. Adieu.

spermaceti and slipping

Sperm whales. Apparently, the stuff in their head is called spermaceti, a wax-like white liquid which fills up the spermaceti organ in the sperm whale’s head. The semiliquid stabilizes the whale when it’s diving and helps keep it afloat by increasing its buoyancy. Oh, so the reason for Moby Dick’s whiteness must be because he has too much sper-. Modesty, my child. Yes, master.

Here’s a question. If a sperm whale and a giant squid fought, which do you think would win? Well, let the battle begin. Dun dun dun (and forever increasing drum beats).

On a related note, kaboom!

On a further related note, in the 18th century, the spermaceti was actually used to create candles. And the stuff that began to drop when the candle started to burn was, yeah, sperm. Chapter 15 in Dracula has this:

“Van Helsing went about his work systematically. Holding his candle so that he could read the coffin plates, and so holding it that the sperm dropped in white patches which congealed as they touched the metal, he made assurance of Lucy’s coffin. Another search in his bag, and he took out a turnscrew.”

Did the virtuous Dr. Van Helsing just jizz in my pa-. I mean. Never mind. But man, this Dr. Van Helsing is some hardcore dude. He’s got all these professions which he is all adept in. And you can’t leave out his bushy eyebrows. (I think i read that somewhere in the book.) My point is, because he’s a doctor and all who has to sit around and observe, he exhibits unnatural patience. So on this particular day when my school had a pajama day, I was wearing my birkenstocks, which, by the way, has horrible, horrible traction (if that’s the right word). Swiftly walking down the stairs to catch up with my friends, who had, to my sadness, left me behind in the lockers, I came upon a giant boulder of fat and meat. This person was a big person, and a big person walking down the stairs in front of me. I, a generally patient person, tried to poke the walking roadblock, only to be ignored. (Maybe his nervous system was imbedded too deep into his body.) Becoming slightly frustrated, I looked for ways to bypass this insolent friend of mine. As the human roadblock began to brace itself for a turn, I finally found a small gap that I could squeeze myself through and jet past this big ball of frustration. Launching myself across a flight of stairs, I raced down, took a tur-. Slip. “Holy ____!” Ouch.

okay, i'm not going to touch bananas for a while

The moral of the story is … YOU CAN’T TRUST THE SYSTEM.

Let me rephrase that. The moral of the story is to be patient. Or else you get your ass handed to you by the ground.

grammar rant and pokemon

What’s the difference between “persons” and “people”? Let’s find out.

This site does a nice job in explaining it, but if you’ve been suddenly struck by a lighting of laziness, I’ll give it a shot.

While “persons” gives more emphasis on the individuals involved, “people” is more mass-orientated.

Speaking of questions having to do with the English language, what’s the correct abbreviation of “versus”? Once again, let’s find out, shall we?

Both “v.” and “vs.” are acceptable abbreviations, the only difference being that the former is used in legal documents; the latter, sports and games (fancy pansy sentence structure right here).

Which also brings me, parentheses, I question thy placements within my sentences.

Shamelessly posting links since 1993. But if you don’t particularly feel like clicking on that link for some reason, I’ll give you some examples (whoever you are).

• Mark ate the banana (even though it was completely brown).
• Jacob quickly reached for the banana and threw it on the floor. (It was a mess!)

I’m currently writing this on the bus, so my sentence structures might become a tad bit messy (car sickness, bleh).

Ellipses have also been a concern of mine. When using those sets of dots indicating omissions, you have to have spaces surrounding the dots. Here’s a link for me to provide, and you to read. This one does a nice job with its use of red and green. (It’s the most wonderful time of the year.) I feel like I have to write another genuine example, but I don’t really feel like writing quotation marks and dealing with the complications involved.

Goodness, why was I ever conceived? To reproduce, man. Speaking of reproduction, gentlemen, seahorse. Apparently, the male seahorse becomes pregnant. And this suddenly reminded me of pokemon. It’d be nice if you were still here, you know.

This will lighten up the mood. The repetitiveness is the selling point, I assume. (Try watching through the entire video.)

Some editing. I’ve thought about correcting the grammar mistakes, especially those concerning parentheses, in all my previous posts. But, alas, it’s too much staring at the computer. And besides, we’re human after all.